If you want a neat trick for kissing, here is something that can get you some pretty awesome results and appeals to a large percentage of women in the world. It also builds a decent amount of anticipation.
As you start to kiss your partner, draw a “C” with your finger; brush your fingers across their forehead as if you’re brushing hair out of their face. Trace a line from their forehead, out to the side of their face, over their temple, down the side of their face, and under the chin.
Kissing someone with this little bit of preamble will draw out the experience. You can make a kiss start and ‘peak’ within a second, or you can draw it out. Stretch how long it takes to go from the first hints of “I want to be kissed” or “I’m going to kiss you”, to finally having kissed them.
Optionally, when you reach the chin, apply a little upwards pressure to tilt your partner’s head upwards. This obviously works with people shorter than you but will also work with people the same height if you are only slightly tilting their head. It’s not about making your partner look up at you, it’s more about eliciting a specific feeling from your partner; that you can take control, that you can lead, that you are confident. If you don’t think you are these things…tilt the head and fake it, then enjoy the reactions you get. Using this trick can help out by giving you a sort of script to follow when you go to kiss someone new for the first time, or the second, or any time you might be nervous.
Alternatively, if you suspect your partner might not be keen on you touching their face enough to draw a “C”, just put your finger under their chin to draw them in. it can still communicate the same message.
Other ideas:
Be on the look-out for other things you know (or suspect) the person you’re kissing enjoys.
If they like firmness and confidence when they are being touched, consider placing a hand on the back of the neck (as discussed in the chapter on how to grab and touch firmly while being comfortable). If you get a hint that they like their hair being played with, run your fingers through their hair. If they react well to this, consider pulling their hair, as described in the chapter on playing with a partner’s hair. Start gentle here, and if that also gets a reaction, become a little firmer.
On the first kiss:
I once saw a passing comment made that the first kiss will set someone’s first impression of you, and how you will be as a physical partner. The strength of the impression you make with the first kiss is apparently something that will take a great deal to change, do not mess it up; I don’t know about anyone else, but this just made me panic an entirely unreasonable amount. This became critically relevant to me personally on one occasion in particular when I kissed a new partner for the first time. I made a small mess of it…
Story time:
I once had a wonderful date with someone that gave me every indication that they would become an amazing presence in my life, then when it came time to part ways, she gave me a kiss. The issue here was that at the time, I wasn’t entirely comfortable initiating a first kiss on the first-time meeting someone; So I went to give her a hug, which lead to her shaking her head, saying “no” and kissing me… I was rather taken aback, and that first kiss was not my best work. The comment I once hear about making a good first kiss and not mucking it up came rushing back to me all at once. It hit me like a brick to the head, and I told myself to try fix it now or that bad first kiss may be the last thing that I am remembered by. So, I said “hold on, I completely mucked that up; let me do that properly”, then put my hand on the side of her neck, kissed her, grabbed her hair very slightly, and then bit her lip. I should take some time to note that when I went for the second kiss, I felt these extra bits of ‘spice’ were appropriate because we had spent some time during the date discussing what we both liked in bed; I probably wouldn’t have added them in if I had no indication from my partner that she might appreciate them. If you don’t think your partner would enjoy a little nibble on the neck, don’t go biting their lip
This first date kiss was brought up in conversation several months later after that same person and I had been physical for a while; The first kiss was entirely forgettable, but the second kiss was apparently quite good, and very memorable. I then inadvertently got a second opinion from an ex-girlfriend who I told this story to because I thought she might find it amusing. She immediately told me that the display of confidence it would take to fix a botched first kiss, and the comfort someone would be showing with her and themself to go for a second kiss like this, was something she found very hot. “I wish someone would do that with me” she told me.
I will never again underestimate the power of a first kiss, or how incredibly well it can go for you if you do realise that you have made a hash of it, and then decide to fix it anyway. I am now also committed to the decision that if I do ever again botch a first kiss, I will 100% be addressing it, and making an attempt to make the second kiss truly show who I am.
